Used by God

The Challenge of Being Challenged!

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Challenge Completed! (Read Day 1 “OK, Honey. Challenge Accepted!”)

Yesterday marked the final round of a throw down challenge with my husband.  His was a physical cleanse, mine was an emotional purge, figuratively speaking, as I blogged each of those days. He lost 27.5 lbs. and I gained awareness to 27.5 (at least) character defects I must now work on. Seriously!

I’m obsessive, insecure, prideful, anxious, overbearing, timid, empty, doubtful, complacent yet never satisfied over every single syllable.  More than daily, I threatened to withdraw, press into lies and excuses rather than press into growth.  Grateful for the accountability stamina of my cohort, I pushed forward and learned some valuable lessons.

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My Biggest Supporter!

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DAY 28 & 29 (Read Day 1 “OK, Honey. Challenge Accepted!” Post)

Everyone needs someone to tell them the truth about their potential.  The only reason, next to God, why I continue to create is the overwhelming support and encouragement of my husband. The following is a note from him.

Teresa, 

I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.   I see a gifted and talented awe inspiring creation, fearfully and wonderfully made.

Don’t believe the lies don’t believe the doubts.

If there is a misstep, move on and keep creating.  If a particular creation or work doesn’t pan out, set it aside for a time but don’t destroy it or give up on it.  The beautiful thing about art is that its intent is to draw out the emotion of the purveyor, not to perform a task.  Great art is not always the end and perfect culmination of the inspired initial vision but instead the result of passion poured out onto a medium. As that medium accepts the words or the strokes or the molding of the artist it shape into a new creation unique from all others.  You are unique from all others and are a unique creation that inspires me to create in my own right.

Don’t believe the lies that you are not good enough or well-trained enough.

Remember always that you are God’s work of art, His creation, the canvas that is you is continuing to be perfected into a one of a kind value and treasure.

Don’t believe the lies that you are a mistake.

Keep receiving the creative forces being poured out on you. Keep pouring out your creative powers on those around you because those fortunate enough to have their story line cross with yours will be better because of it.  A piece of art is always better with the touch of a master and God has created you into a master of people sculpting through you scripts, performances, blogs, and leadership.

Don’t believe the lie that is too late for you to make an impact.

As God continues to sculpt new tools into your kit, continue to use those tools to create his beauty.  Believe that you are and continue to be fearfully and wonderfully made.  I see greatness shining from you.   Keep shining brightly.

Love you always,

Dave

May you, too, be encouraged to press on.

Childish Dreams become Heartfelt Desires!

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DAY 17 (Read Day 1 “OK, Honey. Challenge Accepted!” Post)

Tiny white walled room, scarcely decorated, tightly cramped with a twin bed and mismatched dresser that my 10 year old frame barely could move between. As they say, “it wasn’t much” but it was all I needed, along with the oversized mirror over the dresser that could reflect my entire petite shape so long as I was standing on the stage, or, uh, my bed I mean.
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The Golden Moments when my Teenager Messes Up!

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DAY 8 (Read Day 1 “OK, Honey. Challenge Accepted!” Post)

Character development is a constant conversation between myself and my teens.  Eye rolls occur, “I know, Mom” are spoken words and sporadically, on remote occasions, there is a remorseful apology given without prompt when a mistake has been uncovered.

“I’m sorry,” he said, with tears in his eyes.  Tears not from getting caught, not from the consequence poured out, but salty drips of remorse from the disappointment he sensed over his choice.

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Actions don’t Always Reflect the Heart

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DAY 4 (Read Day 1 “OK, Honey. Challenge Accepted!” Post)

Claws extend
a swing and your hit
daggers launched by tongue
declaring words painful as boulders
crushing, weighing on you
denial of inner-reflection because
it’s easier to spew accusations instead

They push away
they run away
hate spills, eyes spray fire
you, their target but aim
at their own reflection
they scream, yell, not at you
at the anguish inside
cold shoulder says leave
tormented heart begs you stay
wounds, scars, insecurities
need love unconditional proven

It seems a fight they seek
or even an end, but unspoken
is the plea to prove
they are worth fighting for
justifying behavior if you give up

I identify with attacker and prey
burdensome is both giving and accepting fervor

Battle ready
They boast lies
hold on to Truth
they want out
dig in your heels
they rage
hear only the still small voice
love so deep, when they shred you
your roots remain grounded
when ready
love will be reciprocated

Until then, fight

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I’m a Hypocrite!

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DAY 2 (Read Day 1 “OK, Honey. Challenge Accepted!” Post)

Not even a sunset passes before occasion to implement that which I teach is staged before me.

“Your passions, those characteristics and talents that God has gifted you with need exercise, need nurturing, need practice and the only way to do that is by actively doing hard things.”

The girls listened, nodded their heads and even responded with ideas of how their young teen lives could be productive and prepatory for what God has for them in the future. We closed our journals and I prayed for them to find ways to employ what they learned.

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OK, Honey. Challenge Accepted!

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DAY 1

“You want me to what?”

“You heard me,” he said.

“30 blogs in thirty days?” My mind tries to wrap my brain around it.  My fingers stumble over the keys multiplying the need to backspace. “That’s like, one ever day.”

“Yep,” his smirk clearly came through the Skype response.

“Seriously? I’ll give up ice cream, TV, bathing in the sun…” I search for anything of value.  “Soda with caffeine!  Popcorn!  Facebook!!”

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The benefit of depression!

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I turn my back from the sun, and slap the snooze…again. Thoughts form, “just get up and move.”  Limbs proceed to upright position; feet dangle a few inches from the floor.  “So close, but yet…forget it.” My head drops back against the pillow, down feathers envelope and cradle me.  I am incapable to motivate myself for another day. Instead my blanket of dull and dreary, I find safe and most content.

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