A Painful Kind of Love.

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Depleted of vices to hide behind, raw and real are all that remain.  Perhaps it is where He wants me.  My true authentic self, helpless before God. I’m okay with that.  For a long period of seasons, I was anything but. Yet now, even a midst the ruins of my soul, the chaos of my existence, there is peace and it is Him others see, not myself. Grateful for that as life seems to be in shambles.

Twenty-five days ago, a moment of anguish that towers above all others crushed my soul.  The drive over the pass was non-eventful, even quite pleasant.  Which made the endeavor that much more unbearable.

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My Biggest Supporter!

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DAY 28 & 29 (Read Day 1 “OK, Honey. Challenge Accepted!” Post)

Everyone needs someone to tell them the truth about their potential.  The only reason, next to God, why I continue to create is the overwhelming support and encouragement of my husband. The following is a note from him.

Teresa, 

I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.   I see a gifted and talented awe inspiring creation, fearfully and wonderfully made.

Don’t believe the lies don’t believe the doubts.

If there is a misstep, move on and keep creating.  If a particular creation or work doesn’t pan out, set it aside for a time but don’t destroy it or give up on it.  The beautiful thing about art is that its intent is to draw out the emotion of the purveyor, not to perform a task.  Great art is not always the end and perfect culmination of the inspired initial vision but instead the result of passion poured out onto a medium. As that medium accepts the words or the strokes or the molding of the artist it shape into a new creation unique from all others.  You are unique from all others and are a unique creation that inspires me to create in my own right.

Don’t believe the lies that you are not good enough or well-trained enough.

Remember always that you are God’s work of art, His creation, the canvas that is you is continuing to be perfected into a one of a kind value and treasure.

Don’t believe the lies that you are a mistake.

Keep receiving the creative forces being poured out on you. Keep pouring out your creative powers on those around you because those fortunate enough to have their story line cross with yours will be better because of it.  A piece of art is always better with the touch of a master and God has created you into a master of people sculpting through you scripts, performances, blogs, and leadership.

Don’t believe the lie that is too late for you to make an impact.

As God continues to sculpt new tools into your kit, continue to use those tools to create his beauty.  Believe that you are and continue to be fearfully and wonderfully made.  I see greatness shining from you.   Keep shining brightly.

Love you always,

Dave

May you, too, be encouraged to press on.

Actions don’t Always Reflect the Heart

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DAY 4 (Read Day 1 “OK, Honey. Challenge Accepted!” Post)

Claws extend
a swing and your hit
daggers launched by tongue
declaring words painful as boulders
crushing, weighing on you
denial of inner-reflection because
it’s easier to spew accusations instead

They push away
they run away
hate spills, eyes spray fire
you, their target but aim
at their own reflection
they scream, yell, not at you
at the anguish inside
cold shoulder says leave
tormented heart begs you stay
wounds, scars, insecurities
need love unconditional proven

It seems a fight they seek
or even an end, but unspoken
is the plea to prove
they are worth fighting for
justifying behavior if you give up

I identify with attacker and prey
burdensome is both giving and accepting fervor

Battle ready
They boast lies
hold on to Truth
they want out
dig in your heels
they rage
hear only the still small voice
love so deep, when they shred you
your roots remain grounded
when ready
love will be reciprocated

Until then, fight

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When Patience isn’t Enough!

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Music played softly, bible in hand, and I settled into the comfy spot by the big bay window.  Cocoa on my left, steam swirled and curled above it.  A rise and fall of my chest, exhale of air and I gazed at the sun rays that bounced color and cast shadows over the mountain.  Peace had fallen, (Insert record scratch) until the intrusive ring of my cell phone.  One glance at the caller ID and my heart immediately dropped.  Teeth clinched and eyes closed, I answered as I attempted to disguise, my disdain for the interruption.  I knew better than to be optimistic for a quiet moment.

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