When they can’t Love you Back!

“What do you think my love language is, Mom?” he asked.

“Well, there is a test you can take on line,” I said.

“Yeah, David was telling me I should take it. Will you help, in case I don’t understand the questions?”

“Of course!”

We were late for church but when my son asks for emotional help or growth, I refuse to brush aside the rare occurrence.

A quick search and the window popped up. We read…
“For each set of statements, select the one you prefer the most,”

No awareness on his part but I was all but ignorant of the sadness each question built on, not his, but my own.
An ache clinched my heart as truth was revealed; love is a foreign concept for him.

Blessed! “I do not think it means what you think it means!”

Sitting among a group of peers, in true “round-table” fashion, each had a story of hollow wombs and vacant arms coupled with the slightly unconventional way of filling the desire, deep-seated need, for children. Some early in their journey, others veterans of the system, we each divulged details of the miraculous way God had built our families. Conversation was deep, enjoyable and even beneficial until one comment stopped my heart, to which I mentally had to force myself to breathe. Three words were uttered that crushed my spirit, heart and soul and provoked me to evaluate my faith.
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Perfect Timing!

Left leg crossed over right knee, I bounced it out of boredom, partly, and partly out of irritation. The clock behind the receptionist counter revealed the Pediatric Ophthalmologist to be 30 minutes behind schedule and nothing in the pages of the Health magazine between my fingers was to hold my attention or the attention of my 3 young children in tow.

Grace, Teresa, have some grace. (Sigh)

My Biggest Supporter!

DAY 28 & 29 (Read Day 1 “OK, Honey. Challenge Accepted!” Post)

Everyone needs someone to tell them the truth about their potential. The only reason, next to God, why I continue to create is the overwhelming support and encouragement of my husband. The following is a note from him.

Teresa,

I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. I see a gifted and talented awe inspiring creation, fearfully and wonderfully made.

Don’t believe the lies don’t believe the doubts.

If there is a misstep, move on and keep creating. If a particular creation or work doesn’t pan out, set it aside for a time but don’t destroy it or give up on it. The beautiful thing about art is that its intent is to draw out the emotion of the purveyor, not to perform a task. Great art is not always the end and perfect culmination of the inspired initial vision but instead the result of passion poured out onto a medium. As that medium accepts the words or the strokes or the molding of the artist it shape into a new creation unique from all others. You are unique from all others and are a unique creation that inspires me to create in my own right.

Don’t believe the lies that you are not good enough or well-trained enough.

Remember always that you are God’s work of art, His creation, the canvas that is you is continuing to be perfected into a one of a kind value and treasure.

Don’t believe the lies that you are a mistake.

Keep receiving the creative forces being poured out on you. Keep pouring out your creative powers on those around you because those fortunate enough to have their story line cross with yours will be better because of it. A piece of art is always better with the touch of a master and God has created you into a master of people sculpting through you scripts, performances, blogs, and leadership.

Don’t believe the lie that is too late for you to make an impact.

As God continues to sculpt new tools into your kit, continue to use those tools to create his beauty. Believe that you are and continue to be fearfully and wonderfully made. I see greatness shining from you. Keep shining brightly.

Love you always,

Dave

May you, too, be encouraged to press on.

HIS Hand Reached Out for Me!

DAY 26 (Read Day 1 “OK, Honey. Challenge Accepted!” Post)

Air heavy with chill, weighted darkness, a child afraid

Naively innocent, need of love, was I to blame

How was I to know, how could I have seen

The pain that he would cause, when his hand reached out for me.

Years lapse by, tears uninterrupted, never I could find

Unadulterated love for my trust to hide behind

How could he not know, why could he not see

He would shred my soul when his hand reached out for me

Can I be made whole, Is there hope for me

Do you see me hiding here

Absent then, absent now,

Another turned eye is what I fear

Surging shame, disgrace unlimited, it’s all I have known

Till a prayerful plea, I unleash, “God, please save my soul”

How was I to know, How could I have seen

There’d be healing power when His hand reached out for me

I am healed

I am free

Cause HIS hand reached out for me

Speak Life Now!

DAY 16 (Read Day 1 “OK, Honey. Challenge Accepted!” Post)
A eulogy shouldn’t be written for someone who has passed, it should be spoken while they’re still in the present!

Spoken words can bring life to the living, but only fall on deaf ears if they’re dead!

Don’t neglect the chance to speak life now.

Proverbs 18:21

It’s in the Whisper

DAY 14 (Read Day 1 “OK, Honey. Challenge Accepted!” Post)

Cool breeze blows through the open window, fluff the pillow to perfection, lay my weary body down to sleep, adjust, manipulate and position myself just right. In both anticipation of deep sleep and celebration of the close of another day, I sigh with an exhale that releases and relaxes. That’s when they start!
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When Reality Crushes Expectations!

DAY 10 (Read Day 1 “OK, Honey. Challenge Accepted!” Post)

Somedays, expectations are shattered by circumstances and somedays they are trampled under the feet of someone we love. The latter seems to be the toughest to take, at least for me.

The Golden Moments when my Teenager Messes Up!

DAY 8 (Read Day 1 “OK, Honey. Challenge Accepted!” Post)

Character development is a constant conversation between myself and my teens. Eye rolls occur, “I know, Mom” are spoken words and sporadically, on remote occasions, there is a remorseful apology given without prompt when a mistake has been uncovered.

“I’m sorry,” he said, with tears in his eyes. Tears not from getting caught, not from the consequence poured out, but salty drips of remorse from the disappointment he sensed over his choice.

Journey of Emotions!

A few thoughts and feelings from the Life of a Nobody hoping to touch somebody!

Love