DAY 17 (Read Day 1 “OK, Honey. Challenge Accepted!” Post)
Tiny white walled room, scarcely decorated, tightly cramped with a twin bed and mismatched dresser that my 10 year old frame barely could move between. As they say, “it wasn’t much” but it was all I needed, along with the oversized mirror over the dresser that could reflect my entire petite shape so long as I was standing on the stage, or, uh, my bed I mean.
Something transposed as reality shifted in the image reflected back at me and hairbrush became microphone, garage sale shorts and t-shirt transformed into a dazzling evening gown and long, tangled hair swirled into a stylish display of beauty as if my own fairy god-mother were waving her wand.
Never rehearsed, always a heartfelt expression, I offered my gratitude to all that supported me on my journey to accepting my Academy Award. All dissolved quickly when mom or brothers would ask who I was talking to. No matter. I was being summoned outside by civilians and patrons in need. I responded by spinning gracefully until a flash of brilliant light exchanged my tattered clothes for a Stars and Stripes one piece suit, red knee high boots and powerful deflective bracelets that always left mom wondering how all the tin foil could disappear so quickly.
I was the pageant winner, the best actress, Wonder Woman and a zillion other things 35 years in the past. Fast forward to the present and little has changed from the intentions of my child self.
Never did I aspire fame, fortune or power. The reason I imagined my self in positions of authority and grandiose splendor then is the same reasons I dream of something more now. I need to make an impact and leave my mark in the world.
God started creating desires in me at a very young age that called me into His will and I’ve attempted numerous times, instead, to adapt to the norm or what’s expected, but find that I always am left empty. So I close my eyes and return to my youthful, free from tainted opinion or external expectation, dreams and rediscover the foundation of who I am meant to be. Ignoring those youthful desires is like snuffing out the seed that He planted and never allowing it to flourish or blossom.
The seed wasn’t to wear spandex or impress in 5 inch heels, that was only my naïve interpretation. The rooted ambition was to take what I had been given and offer it in some creative way that leaves an impression of hope on all who God allows my path to cross.
At 45, still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up, I finally figured it out. It’s not what, it’s who!
Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
He plants them and nourishes them!