Feet planted, toes push close to the edge but not over. Knees bent, a slight bounce as my body sways first forward then back. Jump or no? That is the question.
In April, my husband and I stuttered through conversations, one after another, that waited for the other to say “go.”
A series of God ordained events led us to the edge of a cliff. God spoke. We obeyed.
Deep breath! “Jump!”
We made a leap.
Long story shortened, we decided to place our 17 year old adopted son in a treatment facility for boys in hope that he would get specialized help needed to overcome some deep issues and unhealthy brain patterns. In truth, it was our last hope to save his life. (and we have a long history of suicide attempts, hospital visits and therapists to confirm what may sound like an overdramatized statement.)
The leap was in part the group home but in full it was the price; a hefty sum ALL out of pocket.
A recent summer day found me, mid-air, with wavering faith. Won’t ask for money, but friends made a point to do it for me by way of a You Caring Crowdfunding site. Pride made me resistant to the idea, but love of my friends made me cave.
“God, this is hard and humbling and somewhat embarrassing to accept money from people who I know struggle with their own finances. Forgive me, though, for not embracing what seems to be your will. If it is your will, then please let money come from those who won’t have to sacrifice to give.”
No more than 5 minutes passed after those words left my lips before an email popped up. I cried at every word. Here’s the nutshell version.
“Teresa, I have a trust account set aside for donations. Right now we are sending $2500. No need to thank me. It’s from God and my parents, who left me the money.”
I sat stunned. Ecstatic at the evidence of God’s involvement yet a bit ashamed at my surprise of it.
Q: At what point in our decisions process should the possibility of success outweigh the possibility of defeat or humiliation or failure?
A: The moment God says “jump!”
Faith is to believe God’s faithfulness, provision and omnipotence will meet us at the same mid-air moment a skydiver pulls the cord and releases the parachute. Then and only then, does He take us higher and further than possible to imagine.
Psalm 3:4 “I call out to the LORD, and he answers me from his holy mountain.”
The Lord’s work began when our human effort ended.
On a more remarkable note, our son is thriving. His therapist wrote, “Good news! [Your son] continues to do very well! We are very proud of him. We have not had any issues of defiance, has been a GREAT leader and peer and has been very productive in therapy.”
Six years of therapy and hospitals and our unconditional love could not do what this home has done in 4 months.
God had a plan for healing that involved a leap of faith on our part. We are still hovering with wind below but are confident that God, who called us to jump, will be faithful to sustain us and complete what He started.